Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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