You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
