so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
