At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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