it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
