He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
