my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
