you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That's intense
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
