Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
