dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
