Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
