I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
