They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You left your underwear on the fireplace
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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