I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
