i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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