ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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