"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
