More tranny stories later!
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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