i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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