I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Everything about him screamed your future.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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