After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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