he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
