was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
