it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
