i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
