Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
