You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
