i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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