If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
