i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I met the friendliest cop last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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