No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
