god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
