I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
