just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
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