You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
