it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
