its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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