He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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