Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
