Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
