It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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