Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
