no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
