Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
