dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
