i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
