Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
