Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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