So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
