I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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